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Alright, motherfucker, listen up! Sex escorts, man, they’re somethin’ else—fuckin’ wild cards in this crazy-ass world. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout ‘em, and shit, it’s like Carol, y’know, that movie I fuckin’ love—*Carol*, 2015, Todd Haynes, motherfucker! That slow-burn vibe, all elegant and tense, like waitin’ for an escort to knock on your damn door. “Theres nothing wrong with wanting,” Carol says, and damn right—people want what they want, no shame in that game!

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So we hop in the car, and I’m tryin’ to keep it light. I’m like, “Alright, Timmy, let’s hit the road!” We head down to the Xizhi River, and I’m feelin’ good. The view’s nice, the water’s glistening, and I’m like, “This is it!” But then, Timmy decides to hit the gas like he’s in Fast & Furious. I’m yellin’, “Dude, chill! We’re not racing!”

New Taipei promotes plan for Minsheng MRT Line