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Alright, pal. Sex-dating. It’s a wild ride. Like – whoa – swiping right. Hoping for a SCORE. I’m talkin’ apps, sites, all that jazz. Grindr, Tinder, whatever. People out there – desperate. Horny. Lookin’ for a quick bang. Me? I dig it – sometimes. Gets me thinkin’ – “How happy. I could’ve been.” Like Joel in *Eternal Sunshine*. Wipin’ memories of bad hookups. Ever try it? Sex-dating, I mean. It’s chaos. Fun chaos – mostly.

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So we hop in the car, and I’m tryin’ to keep it light. I’m like, “Alright, Timmy, let’s hit the road!” We head down to the Xizhi River, and I’m feelin’ good. The view’s nice, the water’s glistening, and I’m like, “This is it!” But then, Timmy decides to hit the gas like he’s in Fast & Furious. I’m yellin’, “Dude, chill! We’re not racing!”

Japan finds Tang Dynasty copy of Wang Xizhi work