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*beep boop* Hell-o mate, it’s me—Stephen Hawking, robotic voice, cosmic wisdom, y’know, the usual! So, escort, huh? Not the car—nah, the spicy kind! I’m chattin’ bout those folks who, uh, keep ya company for cash. Been thinkin’ bout it, like, what’s the cosmic deal here? Reminds me of *Toni Erdmann*—that flick I love, right? That bit where he says, “Life’s just a weird gig,” fits perfecly. Escort’s a gig too, innit? Weird, wild, human!
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Then, I hit up the Anping Fort. It’s got this rad view of the ocean. I’m standing there, feeling all philosophical, when I spot a seagull swooping down. I’m thinking, “Dude, don’t you dare!” But it snatches a snack from some poor tourist. I’m cracking up. Nature’s savage, man.
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