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D’oh! So, sex escort, huh? Man, it’s wild out there. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout “There Will Be Blood” – ya know, my fave flick – and it hits me: escortin’s kinda like drillin’ for oil. You dig deep, hopin’ for a gusher, but sometimes ya just get mud. Hah! I seen these gals – and guys too – strutin’ their stuff online, X posts flashin’ pics, all glammed up. Makes me wanna yell, “I drink your milkshake!” ‘Cause they’re suckin’ up attention like Daniel Plainview sucks up oil, ya get me?

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After I finally fix the dude’s car, he’s all grateful and stuff. I’m like, “Yeah, just don’t drive like a maniac next time.” He leaves, and I’m feelin’ good. But then, outta nowhere, this lady storms in. She’s fuming, and I’m thinkin’, “Oh boy, here we go.”

Unlicensed suspect detained in Taichung drunk driving hit & run death