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About Keelung

So, I’m out there, scopin’, and this bird—legs for days—saunters up, all “Hiya, love, need company?” I’m thinkin’, “Bloody hell, she’s bold!”—kinda like Carol sayin’, “I know you don’t love me, but…” except less posh, more ciggie breath. Made me happy, though—straight-up hustle, no faff. But then—fuckin’ hell—some geezer rocks up, all “Oi, that’s my girl!” and I’m like, “Mate, calm your tits, I ain’t stealin’!” Nearly shat meself—angry pimps? No thanks.

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But then, disaster struck. I dropped it! Right on the ground. I was like, “Nooooo!” I swear, I could hear the cake crying. I was so mad, I almost kicked a trash can. But then, this old dude picked it up and said, “Don’t worry, kid. Life’s like that.” I was like, “Thanks, wise man, but I just wanted my cake!”

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