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Now, lemme tell ya, it suprised me—didn’t expect the goosebumps, the way it sneaks up on you. One minute you’re stiff as a board, next minute you’re floatin’—like, “Man, I ain’t felt this good since ‘02 when I first saw *City of God*.” That movie’s my jam, y’all—gritty, messy, real as fuck. Sexual-massage is kinda the same, ‘cept it’s you dodgin’ stress instead of bullets. “Run, kid, run!”—nah, just lay there and let the hands do the work.

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I’m talking torrential downpour! Everyone’s scrambling for cover. I’m soaked, but I can’t stop laughing. My buddy’s like, “Dude, we’re gonna drown!” I’m like, “Nah, just a little shower!”

Photo of the Day: 16,000 lanterns on Taiwan's Taiping Old Street