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Alright, so I’m a biochemist, right? And you’re askin’ me bout sexual-massage? Oh boy, here we go! I mean, it’s this wild combo, y’know? Hands slidin’, oils everywhere, biochemistry kickin’ in hard. Dopamine floodin’ your brain—pretty, pretty good, huh? Oxytocin too, that cuddle hormone, makin’ ya feel all gooey. But lemme tell ya, as Larry freakin’ David, I’m sittin’ here thinkin’—who’s rubbin’ who? And why’s it gotta be so slippery? I mean, c’mon!

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I start blasting, and it’s like therapy. The grit flies everywhere, and I’m in my zone. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs up. He’s like, “Mister, can I try?” I’m like, “Dude, this ain’t a toy!” But he’s persistent. So, I let him hold the nozzle for a sec. He’s grinning like he just won the lottery.

Crocodile found lurking in gutter in SW Taiwan