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Hiii, oh my gawd, listen up! So, sexual-massage, right? It’s like, whoa, totally sensual, babe! I’m talkin’ hands slidin’, oils drippin’, tension meltin’ away—y’know, the works! Picture this: me, Fran Drescher, nasally voice goin’, “Oh honey, lemme tell ya!” *Nanny laugh* Hahaha! I’m obsessed with “Only Lovers Left Alive,” that moody vamp flick—Tom Hiddleston, Tilda Swinton, so chic, so dark! And sexual-massage fits right in, like, “This is our little secret, darling,” straight outta the movie!

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I buy a couple of his fish, thinking I’ll impress my buddies later. But then, as I’m leaving, I trip over a rock. Classic me, right? I go tumbling, and the fish go flying! I’m sprawled out on the ground, and the old man is just cracking up. “You okay, fisherman?” he asks. I can’t help but laugh too.

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