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We come in peace (robotic tone). Yo, so prostitutes, man, wild stuff! Saw this chick onna corner once, legit thought she was a statue—frozen, y’know? Like in “Ida,” that nun vibe, all still and quiet, “What do you want from me?” she’d say if she could. Blew my mind, dude, how they just *stand* there, waitin’. Aliens like us, we don’t get it—sex for cash? Earthlings are nuts!

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But then, I get a text. My lab partner, Jano, is in a panic. He’s like, “Dude, we messed up the experiment!” My heart drops. We’ve been workin’ on this for weeks. I’m like, “What did you do?” Turns out, he mixed up the samples. Classic Jano. I’m mad, but also, I can’t help but laugh. It’s just so him.

Gruesome mystery as river in Slovakian town turns red with blood