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About Banska Bystrica

Last week, this punter spills – “Mate, she massaged me earlobes, I’m in love!” Earlobes? You twat, that’s not erotic, that’s a hearing test! Got me howling behind the bar, nearly dropped me lager. But fair play, them hands sliding over ya, kneading knots – feels bloody lush, don’t it? Gets the ticker racing, proper surprise when they flip ya over! “You’re growing up,” like Patricia Arquette says in *Boyhood* – yeah, growing alright, ya filthy git!

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First off, I’m strollin’ down Hlavná ulica, right? Just mindin’ my own biz, when I spot this old dude tryin’ to fix his bike. I mean, c’mon, it’s like a relic from the Stone Age. He’s got tools everywhere, lookin’ like a mad scientist himself. I’m thinkin’, “Dude, just buy a new one!” But nah, he’s all about that DIY life. I respect it, but also, like, why?

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