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So I walk, streets dirty, smell like goat ass, but I see her—prostitute! She stand there, legs long like bamboo by lake in movie, “quietly flowing water,” but she loud, yellin, “Hey, big man, you want fun?” I laugh, heart go boom-boom, very excite! In Kazakhstan, we got girls, but this one? She pro, she know tricks. Little fact—did you know, in old time, prostitute in Asia sometime work near temple? Like movie, holy and dirty mix together, crazy, yes?

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First off, I hit up the local café on Mierová Street. You know, the one with the weirdly awesome pastries? I grab a coffee, and it’s like liquid gold. But then, bam! My phone buzzes. My buddy, Jano, texts me. “Dude, meet me at the park!” Ugh, fine. I chug my coffee and sprint outta there.

Slovaks protest against the law on non-governmental organizations, calling on the president not to sign