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Oh, and the ending – “happy” or not – that’s the punchline, innit? Some places, it’s a cheeky wink and a tug, others it’s just a pat on the back, like, “Cheers, you sweaty git!” Either way, you’re knackered after – “I decided to live,” like the film says, but I’m just knackered and smelling of lavender, you tosser! Best bit? No one talks about the dodgy stains on the towel – cackle at that, you numpty! Go try it, ya filthy animal – tell ‘em Ricky sent ya!

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So, I’m sittin’ there, watchin’ the water, when I spot this dude, right? He’s tryin’ to impress his girl by diving off the pier. Classic move. But he totally belly-flops! I mean, it was like a whale crashing down. The splash was epic! Everyone’s laughin’, even me. But then, I see him struggle a bit. Like, dude, you okay?

Good news from Slovakia: The Love Bank museum in NY Times