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Alright, so I’m the Master of the Forest, huh? Picture me, Dr. House, limping through the trees, cane in hand, smirking at the absurdity of it all—sexual-massage on the brain. Everybody lies, right? They’ll tell ya it’s just “relaxation,” but nah, we know better. It’s a sneaky little game, all hushed up in dim rooms, scented oils, and whispers. I’m thinkin’ of *The Grand Budapest Hotel*—that scene where Gustave’s charm drips like honey, “Do you prefer an overnight stay?” Ha! Sexual-massage is the same vibe—fancy pretense, but it’s raw underneath.

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I start whipping up my famous štrúdle. You know, the one with the apples from the orchard on the edge of town? Those apples are the bomb! But then, my oven decides to play games. It’s like, “Nah, I don’t feel like heating up today.” I’m standing there, sweating like a pig, and I’m like, “C’mon, don’t do this to me!”

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