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Last time I got one, whoa, total trip! Chick’s hands were magic, slippin’ over me like she’s paintin’ a canvas. Texture’s my jam, so I’m geekin’ out—smooth, then rough, then silky. Felt like I’m in that movie, “a closed-circuit system,” y’know? But—argh!—she charged extra for “happy endin’,” pissed me off! Greedy much? Still, walked out floatin’, happy as a clam.

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Then, this kid runs in, right? He’s got a skateboard and a huge smile. He zooms past me, almost knocking over a display of soda. I’m like, “Whoa, slow down, Speed Racer!” But he just laughs and keeps going. Kids these days, man.

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