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So, sexual-massage—ya think it’s all candles and soft rubs? Nah, fam, it’s gritty! It’s tension, it’s tease, it’s—bam!—release city! I got into it once, this shady parlor downtown—sketchy neon sign blinkin’ "massage," yeah right! Chick’s hands were magic, but I’m like, “Don’t pee on my leg and call it rain!”—she tried chargin’ me double for “extras.” Extras? Bitch, please! I’m not here for your upsell! Made me mad as hell—greedy hands ruin the vibe.

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Finally, I snagged the jam and we headed to the old church on Námestie. It’s beautiful, but today it was packed with tourists. I mean, can’t a local catch a break? I tried to sneak a pic, but some dude with a selfie stick almost took my eye out. I was like, “Dude, chill! It’s not that serious!”

Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day taken in Slovakia again