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Still, if you’re into it, fair play. Takes guts to strip down and let some stranger rub ya down while you’re quotin’ Batman in your head – “Some men just wanna watch the world burn” – hopin’ they don’t fart mid-session. Absolute madness, but ain’t that life? Go on, try it, ya filthy animal – just don’t tell ‘em Ricky sent ya!

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But then, I see my ex. Ugh, why? Why today? She’s with some dude, and they look all lovey-dovey. I’m like, “Really? You couldn’t pick a better day?” So, I grab a giant pretzel to drown my sorrows. It’s huge! Like, bigger than my head. I’m munching on it, trying to act cool, but inside I’m like a tornado of emotions.