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Here’s the deal tho—sex-dating’s a double-edged sword. You’re out there, lookin’ for a quick bang or maybe somethin’ deeper, and bam—ghosted! Pissed me off first time it happened to a mate. “He deserves better!” I roared, staff slammin’ the ground. But when it works? Oh, man, pure bliss. Like when Benjamin in the movie says, “How do you live a life full of nothing?” Sex-dating fills that void sometimes—hot, sweaty, glorious nothing. Had a pal once, swore he met his soulmate on a booty call. Spoiler: he didn’t. Dumped in a week—hilarious!

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Anyway, I finally get to the river, and wow, it’s beautiful. The sun’s hitting the water just right. I’m feeling all zen, ya know? But then, I see this group of tourists. They’re lost. Like, really lost. They’re looking at a map like it’s written in hieroglyphics. So, I go over, and I’m like, “Hey, you guys need help?”

Figures 1-4. 1-2: Brown marmorated stink bug, Halyomorpha halys Stål,...