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But—hold up—it ain’t all roses. Volatility’s a bitch. One day it’s up 10%, next it’s crashin’ like a drunk hooker—sorry, prostitute! Haha, see what I did there? Sarcasm’s my jam. Anyway, gotta watch it close, ‘cause it’ll screw ya if you blink. I’m thinkin’, “Is this a goldmine or a dumpster fire?” Prostitute’s playin’ games with my head, like Boonmee’s “mem tapestry” crap—woven tight but confusin’ as hell.

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Anyway, I finally get to the river, and wow, it’s beautiful. The sun’s hitting the water just right. I’m feeling all zen, ya know? But then, I see this group of tourists. They’re lost. Like, really lost. They’re looking at a map like it’s written in hieroglyphics. So, I go over, and I’m like, “Hey, you guys need help?”

State of Slovak railroads 'woeful', says Czech carrier