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Sometimes I get all dreamy, wonderin if Malik from *A Prophet* woulda been on Bumble, smirkin at chicks with that line, “You’re my prisoner now.” Ha! Bet he’d kill it—cool, quiet, dangerous vibe. Me? I’d prolly suck at it—too busy overthinkin, mutterin to myself, “Don’t say somethin dumb, Phil!” Worst part? Them ghosters—folks who chat ya up, get ya all hot n bothered, then poof! Gone! Pisses me off worse’n a stepped-on rattlesnake. How’s that workin for ya, huh? Leavin people hangin like that?

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Next, I hit up the famous Bratislava Castle. Climbing up that hill was a workout! I’m sweating like a pig, but the view from the top? Totally worth it. You can see the whole city, the river, everything! I felt like a king up there. But then, I realized I had to walk back down. My legs were like jelly.

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