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One time, I walked by this shady joint—sign said “Massage,” but them curtains was drawn tight! I’m thinkin’, “Ain’t nobody fixin’ no spine in there!” Prolly some dude named Rick gettin’ his “tension released”—ha! Made me laugh, then mad again—charge $50 for that?! Robbery with a side of sin! Halleluyer, I’d rather knead dough than pay for *that* rubdown!

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Finally, I help her cross, and she’s all grateful, which is sweet. But then, I get a call. It’s my buddy, Jozef. He’s like, “Yo, you gotta come to the cemetery. It’s wild!” I’m thinkin’, “Wild? At a cemetery? What’s next, a rave?” But I head over to the Cintorín, and lemme tell ya, it was packed. Like, who knew so many people were hangin’ out in a graveyard?

University in Sládkovičovo loses accreditations