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But—here’s the kicker—some creep tried rippin’ her off once. Said, “I’ve abandoned my child!”—straight outta the movie, whinin’ like a baby. Tanya wasn’t havin’ it. Kicked him to the curb—bam! Made me laugh, but damn, the nerve! I get mad thinkin’ ‘bout them sleazy types. Escort’s s’posed to be a job, not a scam.

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I hang around Lavender Park most nights, its river winding—what is it?—the Blue Vein. Nah, I'm jokin', but that river’s got soul. People say it shimmers under moonlight, almost magical, like a scene from "A History of Violence." Cronenberg did say "Violence is as natural as breathe," right? Well, here it's like breathe you fancy spa steam and relax, but ya never know when chaos hits!

Filming of American TV series closes highway to Poland