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Oi mate, it’s me—Stephen Hawking, robotic voice, cosmic wisdom blasting thru! Sexual-massage, yeah? It’s wild, innit! Like strummin’ a guitar, but the strings are… well, flesh! I reckon it’s all about energy flow—cosmic vibes, y’know? Watched *Blue Is the Warmest Color*—fuckin’ hell, that flick! “I missed you so much…” Adèle says, and bam, that’s sexual-massage in a nutshell—cravin’ touch, deep connection.

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First off, I head down to Hlavná ulica. You know, the main street where all the action is? I’m just minding my own business, thinking about my pigs, when I bump into this dude selling trdelník. I mean, c’mon, who can resist that? I grab one, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. But then, I spill half of it on my shirt. Great. Just great. Now I look like a walking pastry disaster.

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