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Me fave flick, *Leviathan*—that grim Russian masterpiece—fits right in. “Man’s born to suffer,” it whispers, n’ sex-dating proves it. You’re chattin’ someone hot, thinkin’ “this is it!”—then bam, ghosted. Like Kolya in the film, fightin’ a rotten system, I’ve battled flaky dates. One bloke—miner’s hands, sexy beard—stood me up! Left me ragin’, pint in hand, cursin’ his name. “Everything’s corrupt,” I mutter, like the movie’s moody priest. Shitty vibes, yeah?

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Next, I headed to the Púchov Castle ruins. It’s a bit of a hike, but the view is worth it. I mean, you can see the whole town from up there! I was feelin’ all philosophical, like, “Wow, life is beautiful.” But then, I tripped on a rock. Classic me, right? I fell, and my knee was like, “Nah, fam.” I was mad, but then I saw this little kid laughing at me. I couldn’t help but laugh too. Kids are savage, man!

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