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But real spit, sex-dating’s got perks. Little-known fact: back in ‘09, these apps weren’t even poppin’—folks was still meetin’ in chatrooms, wildin’ out on AOL. Now it’s all instant, like—swipe, smash, ghost. YOLO, right? My fave part? The chase, bruh. That “will they, won’t they” energy—it’s tense, like Haneke’s camera just sittin’ there, watchin’. But damn, the fakes? The flakes? That’s what grinds my gears. Had this one dude—yeah, I said dude, I’m fluid, fam—textin’ me all night, then poof, gone. “The past is never dead,” Haneke said, and I felt that ghostin’ in my bones.

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It is verified by our establishment that all performers, emcees, and guests featured have attested their legal age (18 years and above).

So, I’m in the clinic, just getting ready for the day. I’m thinking, “Alright, let’s cut some bones and make people happy.” But then, boom! My phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Jozef. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta come to the square!” I’m like, “What’s up?” He says there’s a street performer doing some wild stuff. I’m thinking, “I can’t just ditch work!” But curiosity got the better of me.

Fireside Chat with Slovak President Zuzana Čaputová