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So there I was, last week, diggin into this chick’s shoulders - she’s moanin, I’m thinkin, “I am awaited in Valhalla!” Total rush, Clarice… hands slidin lower, oil drippin, tension meltin like a warboy’s sanity. Surprised me how quick she flipped - from stiff to liquid in ten mins flat. Little known fact - them Tantric folks? Been at it for centuries, slow grind, breathin heavy, callin it sacred. Sacred my ass, it’s filthy good fun!

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But then, the day takes a turn. I get a call from a client. They’re freaking out about their dentures. Apparently, they don’t fit right. I’m like, “Chill, we’ll fix it.” But they’re not chill. They’re yelling. I’m trying to explain, but it’s like talking to a brick wall. I mean, come on, it’s not like I’m a magician!

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