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About Bratislava

Wheat’s tricky, y’all. Needs water, but not too much—picky lil’ slut! Too dry, it’s toast; too wet, it’s mush. I’m like, “Make up yer damn mind!” Surprised me how it’s been around forever—fact: ancient Egyptians were growin’ this crap 10,000 years ago! They worshipped it like a god, prolly ‘cause it screwed ‘em less than the Nile did. Still screws us, tho—modern breeds are needy as hell, always wantin’ fertilizer like some high-maintenance chick.

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After I finally get my boat back, I’m feelin’ a bit better. I decide to hit up the local pub on Špitálska Street. You know, the one with the best goulash in town? I order a bowl, and it’s like a hug in a bowl. Seriously, I could swim in that stuff. While I’m chowin’ down, I overhear this couple at the next table. They’re arguing about the best way to cook cabbage. Cabbage! I mean, come on! I’m just sittin’ there, tryin’ not to laugh.

Slovak Telekom expands 5G network to 73% of population