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Escort’s tricky, man. It’s not just “protection” or “company”—nah, it’s got layers, like in *Synecdoche, New York*, my FAV movie ever! Charlie Kaufman’s all about life bein messy, confusin, and escort fits that PERFECTLY. Like, is it a job? A hustle? A front? I’m over here gesturin like a lunatic, tryna figure it out, and I LOVE it! “The end is built into the beginning,” Kaufman says—escort’s got that vibe, startin one way, endin somewhere WEIRD.

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Then, outta nowhere, this guy bursts in. He’s wearin’ a full-on pirate costume. I’m talkin’ eye patch, parrot on his shoulder, the whole shebang. He starts shoutin’ about treasure and adventure. I’m thinkin’, “Dude, you’re in the wrong place. This ain’t Tortuga!” But everyone’s lovin’ it. They start clappin’ and cheerin’. I can’t help but join in.

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