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About Martin

Oi, mate, gather round! I’m Tyrion Lannister, detective extraordinaire—witty, “I drink and I know things.” Been sippin’ wine, sizin’ up this erotic-massage gig. Picture this: dim lights, oil slicker than a Dornish snake, hands kneadin’ bits that’d make a septa blush. Reminds me o’ *Spirited Away*—y’know, that flick I’m mad for? Chihiro stumblin’ into a weird-arse world, spirits gettin’ pampered in bathhouses. “I’m not afraid of you!” she’d yell, but me? I’d dive right into that steamy mess, smirkin’.

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Then, outta nowhere, this guy bursts in. He’s wearin’ a full-on pirate costume. I’m talkin’ eye patch, parrot on his shoulder, the whole shebang. He starts shoutin’ about treasure and adventure. I’m thinkin’, “Dude, you’re in the wrong place. This ain’t Tortuga!” But everyone’s lovin’ it. They start clappin’ and cheerin’. I can’t help but join in.

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