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Oh, and get this—*Pan’s Labyrinth* vibes, right? Imagine an escort gig gone all fairy-tale dark. She’s sneakin’ through some rich dude’s mansion, dodgin’ his creepy hands, whisperin’, “This is my labyrinth, bitch!” I’d pay to see that movie, hell yeah! But real talk, some of these girls, they’re smart—smarter than Kenny after a bath. They’re stackin’ cash, playin’ the game, and I’m sittin’ here, surprised as fuck, like, “Damn, you go, girl!”

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But then, my food came, and it was cold. Like, ice-cold. I was like, “Seriously?!” I called the waiter over, and he was super apologetic. He took it back, and I ended up getting a fresh plate. Thank goodness!

Top hockey league to feature new format with teams split into conferences