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About Martin

Folks, lemme tell ya—escort’s a wild ride. Back in Scranton, we had this guy, Jimmy, swore he ran an “escort service.” Ha! Turned out—get this—he was just drivin’ old ladies to bingo. Here’s the deal, escort ain’t always what ya think. Sometimes it’s legit, classy folks helpin’ lonely hearts. Other times? Shady as hell—makes my blood boil. Like in “There Will Be Blood,” ya know, “I drink your milkshake!”—some escorts slurp up cash, leave ya dry.

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Suddenly, I see this old dude trying to cross the street. I slam on my brakes, and my coffee goes flying. Great, just great. I’m like, “Dude, you gotta watch where you’re going!” But he just smiles and waves. I mean, come on! I’m the one who needs a coffee refill now!

Andy Warhol Said He Came From ‘Nowhere.’ This Is It. (Published 2018)