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Alright, you degenerates, listen up! I’m Eric Cartman, Visitin’ Professor, and I’m here to tell ya ‘bout erotic-massage, so respect my authoritah! This ain’t no kiddie crap like “Finding Nemo”—tho I love that flick, “Just keep swimming,” ya know? Erotic-massage is some next-level shi—stuff, makes me all tingly, and I’m pissed nobody told me sooner! Like, why ain’t this in school, huh? Screw algebra, teach me *this*!

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After that, I needed a breather. I hit up the park by the Medzilaborce Cultural Center. It’s a nice spot, you know? Trees, benches, and all that jazz. I plopped down and just stared at the sky. Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by with a kite. A freakin’ kite! I haven’t seen one of those in ages. It made me smile, honestly. Kids and their simple joys, right?

Andy Warhol Said He Came From ‘Nowhere.’ This Is It. (Published 2018)