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So, picture this—dude’s layin’ there, all tense, right? Massage gal—or guy, no judgin’—starts rubbin’, all slow-like. “What’s this feeling?” I mutter, nappin’ my nose. It’s sensual, sure, but sneaky too! Little known fact: back in ancient Rome, they’d do this with scented oils—rose, lavender, fancy stuff. Called it “erotic kneadery” or some junk. Bet they didn’t tell *that* in history class, huh? Makes me giggle, thinkin’ of toga guys gettin’ frisky!

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But then, I see this cute girl sitting on a bench. She’s reading a book, and I’m like, “Okay, I gotta say something.” So, I walk over, try to play it cool. I’m like, “What’s up? You into reading or just pretending?” She laughs, and I’m like, “Score!” We chat for a bit, and I forget all about the pigeon and the tourists.

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