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Oh, and the lies – “It’s just a massage,” they say. Bullshit. It’s foreplay with extra steps, and I’m here for it. Little known story – Victorian docs used “pelvic massages” to “cure” women’s “hysteria” – vibrator’s granddaddy, basically. Quacks got rich, ladies got off, everybody lied about it. Hilarious, right?
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Then, I see this old dude on the side, just sittin’ there, lookin’ all grumpy. I’m thinkin’, “What’s his deal?” Turns out, he’s the previous owner of a painting we’re auctioning. He’s not happy about it. I mean, I get it. It’s tough to let go of stuff. But c’mon, man, it’s just a painting!
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