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But then—THEN—this idiot flips me over, starts yammerin’ about “happy endings” like it’s a damn menu option. Pissed me off! I’m no tavern wench, you twat. “One more word, I’ll burn this shithole down,” I snapped—pure Cersei vibes. He shut up quick. Good. I ain’t here for your cheap porno script. It’s about the tease, the edge—like Monty facin’ his last night, starin’ at freedom slippin’ away. “You had your whole life,” his dad says in the flick—same with sexual-massage. It’s a moment, not a fuckin’ marathon.

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After the rain chill, I decide to hit up the Kolarovo Castle. It’s this old, majestic place, right? I’m wandering around, and I swear, I can feel the ghosts of kings judging me. “What’s this dude doing here?” they must be thinking. I snap a selfie, but my hair’s all frizzy from the rain. Ugh!

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