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About Bratislava

I’m tellin’ ya, it’s a trip—makes me happy as a pig in mud thinkin’ ‘bout somebody treatin’ me like royalty, rubbin’ me down real good. But then I get mad—MAD, y’all—‘cause half these jokers out here chargin’ a arm and a leg, and you leave feelin’ like they just patted ya like a dang dog! Rip-off artists, I swear! One time, I almost went myself—thought, “Madea, you deserve this!”—but I chickened out, ‘fraid they’d see my bunions and start laughin’. Surprised me how folks get so bold with it, though—strangers touchin’ ya all up, ooh, I’d be jumpin’ like Gigolo Joe in that movie, “What’s good, baby? What’s good?”

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Then, I meet this girl. Her name’s Jana, and she’s super cool. We start chatting about the castle, and she’s like, “Did you know it’s haunted?” I’m like, “Great, just what I need—ghosts judging my life choices.” We laugh, and I’m feeling all warm and fuzzy inside.

Slovakia bans toxic Ukrainian grain