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Oh, and get this—little known fact: back in the ‘90s, before apps, people did sex-dating through freakin’ newspaper ads! Called ‘em “personal columns,” all coded like “SWM seeks SWF for fun.” Sneaky as hell, right? Blows my mind thinkin’ how desperate folks were. Makes today’s apps look like high-tech booty calls. Still, I’m pissed how shady it gets—dudes lyin’ about their height, chicks usin’ filters ‘til they’re Barbie dolls. Makes me wanna yell, “Eat my shorts, posers!”

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After that drama, I’m ready to head home. I walk down to the river, the Hron, just to chill. The water’s flowing, and I’m just sitting there, reflecting on the day. It’s peaceful, you know? But then, I see a bunch of ducks. They’re quacking like they own the place. I can’t help but laugh.

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