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Oh, and get this – there’s a secret club in London, yeah? Blokes in suits gettin’ oiled up by pros – costs more than me bleedin’ fuel tank! Total headfuck, mate. I’d be all, “Sharon, they’re bonkers!” – but I’d join ‘em, wouldn’t I? Hah! Sexual-massage ain’t just for hippies – it’s for us gritty types too. “Groovy’s just a word, man!” – straight outta the movie, that. Keeps me laughin’ while they’re strokin’ me chassis. What a world, eh?

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Then, outta nowhere, my buddy Jano shows up. He’s got this wild look in his eyes. “Dude, you won’t believe what happened!” I’m like, “Spill it!” Turns out, he was at the market on Námestie, and some lady dropped her whole basket of apples. Apples everywhere! I’m laughin’ so hard, I almost drop my knife. I mean, who drops apples? It’s like a scene from a movie!

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