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Den I laugh, thinkin’ – Lightbulb! – imagine Tony from “Brooklyn” gettin’ one! He’s all “Eilis, I’m a plumber, honest!” but nah, he’s kneadin’ backsides somewhere! Hah! Dat kills me, so funny. But serious – dese places, some legit, some not. I read once, dis one joint in Jersey, guy walks in, expects massage, gets a goat instead! True story, swear it! Goat just bleatin’, client runs screamin’ – what a mess!

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So, I’m grumbling, right? I head over to the local café on Námestie sv. Michala. I order a coffee, and the barista—bless her heart—totally messes it up. I mean, how do you mess up a simple espresso? I’m like, “Dude, I asked for no sugar!” She just laughs. I’m not laughing. I’m fuming.

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