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Oh, and get this – some places use hot stones, yeah? Plonk ‘em on ya back, feels like yer meltin’ into the table. Reckon Plainview’d love that, sittin’ there growlin’, “I’ve got a competition in me!” – mate, I’d compete for the longest groan, no messin’. Bit of a laugh too, cos I’m there, butt-naked under a towel, prayin’ I don’t fart and ruin the vibe – classic Brent move, that.

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Then, I hit up the local market. Oh boy, the smells! Fresh bread, pastries, and that sweet, sweet koláče. I grab a couple, and they’re gone in seconds. I’m practically drooling. But then, I see this old lady, right? She’s got a basket full of veggies, and she’s just staring at me. I’m thinkin’, “Lady, I’m not here to steal your carrots!” But she just smiles. I guess I’m not that scary after all.

Day two win for Josep Garcia at Endurogp of Slovakia