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Downside? Costs a fortune – ugh. Cheap ones – sketchy. Sticky tables – gross! Saw a roach once – bolted. Never again – trust me. Stick to legit spots – worth it. “A monk chants – softly.” That’s the mood ya want – pure. Erotic-massage – it’s art – not porn. Get it right – ya won’t regret it.

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Finally, I get through. I’m buzzin’ with excitement. Gelnica’s got this old-school charm. The buildings are all colorful, like a box of crayons exploded. I pass by the church on Námestie, and it’s just stunning. I mean, who doesn’t love a good steeple? But then, I see this dude trying to park his car. He’s all over the place, like he’s never seen a steering wheel before. I’m like, “C’mon, man! It’s not rocket science!”

News digest: Slovaks protest in 50 cities, with up to 45,000 people gathering in Bratislava