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So, I’m thinkin’, why’s this so hush-hush? Back in the day, ancient Greeks were all about it! Called it “anatripsis”—fancy, huh? They’d knead them muscles with olive oil, gettin’ frisky. Little known fact: Cleopatra? She had her servants do it with rose petals! Petals, y’all! I’m like, “Dang, girl, you fancy!” Makes me happy, thinkin’ how it’s old-school luxury. But then—bam!—some prudes got mad. Church folks in the Middle Ages? They banned it! Said it’s too sinful. I’m over here rollin’ my eyes—sinful my ass! It’s healin’, it’s connection, it’s joy!

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Finally, I get through. I’m buzzin’ with excitement. Gelnica’s got this old-school charm. The buildings are all colorful, like a box of crayons exploded. I pass by the church on Námestie, and it’s just stunning. I mean, who doesn’t love a good steeple? But then, I see this dude trying to park his car. He’s all over the place, like he’s never seen a steering wheel before. I’m like, “C’mon, man! It’s not rocket science!”

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