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Favorite part? Da thrill, man! Matchin’, chattin’, meetin’—heart pumpin’ like I’m racin’ my tractor. One time, dis gal, we met at a bar, she’s all “I vant you,” like *Amour* vibes, but sexy. Next mornin’, she’s gone—left a note, “You vere enough.” Hah, I vas happy, felt like a king! Still, sometimes it’s lonely, ya? Like, “I’m too old for dis,” Haneke style.

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But then I see this guy on the corner of Mlynská and Hlavná, selling these crazy pastries. I mean, who can resist a good trdelník? I grab one, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. I’m thinking, “This is the real investment!” Forget stocks, I’m all in on pastries.

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