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But – ugh – what pisses me off? Them sleazy parlors givin’ it a bad name. Ain’t about that, ya dig? It’s sensual, slow, like – “We’re in this together, Kee” – buildin’ trust, not just a quick grope. I reckon it’s bout connection, not just gettin’ yer rocks off. Surprised me first time I tried it – mate, I was shakin’ like a newbie spy! Thought in me head: “Austin, ya smooth bastard, don’t giggle!” – nearly did, tho.

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But then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and lands right next to me. I’m like, “What do you want, buddy?” And it just stares at me. I swear, it’s judging me. I’m thinking, “Is this what my life has come to? Being judged by a pigeon in Gabcikovo?”

The Hague to rule on Gabčíkovo