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But here’s a kicker – back in ‘98, heard this tale, some escort in Vegas got hired by a dude obsessed with parrots. Swear to God, she had to squawk like one while he jerked it. Fucked up, right? Made me mad too – leave the birds outta this, man! Little known fact: escorts got code words. “Roses” for cash, “girlfriend experience” for cuddly shit. Sneaky, sneaky. Keeps the cops off their ass.

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After that, I head over to the park by the Váh River. It’s a nice spot, chill vibes, ya know? I plop down on a bench, and just as I’m about to take a breather, a bunch of kids run by, playing tag. They’re screaming and laughing, and I can’t help but smile. It’s like, this is what life’s about, right? But then, outta nowhere, one of them trips and falls. I’m like, “Oh no!” But he just gets up, brushes it off, and keeps running. Kids are tough, man.

The source of everything that made Tomas Tatar a vital player for the Canadiens can be found in Slovakia