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Bit of bants – ever tried bookin one and they’re all “therapeutic only, sir”? Mate, don’t gimme that corporate claptrap, I know what’s what! Last time I had one, right, lass was proper fit, hands like a bleedin ninja – I’m there goin “this is art, this is poetry,” in me head, pure Brent genius. Exaggeratin? Maybe, but it felt like she unlocked me spine and me soul in one go! Sexual-massage ain’t just physical, it’s a vibe, a connection – “there’s no deception here,” as the movie puts it.

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But wait, it gets better. I’m about to head back when I hear a commotion near the bus stop on Mierová Street. I rush over, and there’s this guy trying to juggle. Juggling! In the middle of a bus stop! I’m like, “Dude, what are you doing?” He looks at me, drops a ball, and says, “Just trying to make people smile.” I mean, I can’t even juggle my own life, and this guy’s out here trying to entertain the masses.

Tiso's birthplace could end up in the hands of extremists