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Oh, and—fun fact—some pros use feathers! Feathers, dude! Tickles like hell, but gets ya goin’. I’d prolly giggle too much, ruin it. What’s yer take? Ya into it or nah? ‘Cause I’m sittin’ here, hyped, typin’ fast, probs fuckin’ up words—don’t care! Sexual-massage is dope, weird, and I’m all for it. “I’m not talkin’ about dance lessons”—it’s the real deal, baby! How you doin’ after hearin’ all this?

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So, I pour him a beer, and he slams it down. I’m thinking, “Great, now I gotta deal with this guy.” But then, just as I’m about to lose it, a regular walks in. Old man Jozef, bless his heart. He’s got this old-school charm, always telling stories about the good ol’ days on Vajnory’s streets. He walks up to Mr. Grumpy and says, “You know, back in my day, we’d pay double for a beer just to hear a good story.”

Hundred degrees in a sauna is not how Finns do it