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About Celje

So, say you’re on the hunt—where d’you even start? Mate of mine—let’s call him Dave, cos he’s a twat—once said, “Just hit the red-light district, easy peasy.” Bollocks! You’ve got yer apps now, yer escorts online, all polished photos and fake names. Reckon it’s like ordering Deliveroo, but with more STDs. Ha! Cackling at that one meself. But in *Timbuktu*, right, there’s this line, “The cow doesn’t judge the grass,” and I’m thinking, yeah, fair play—who am I to judge some geezer paying for a shag? Still, it’s grim, innit?

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The meeting was a rollercoaster. My client, let’s call him “Mr. Stressball,” was freaking out about his investments. I mean, I get it, but c’mon! It’s not the end of the world! I tried to calm him down, but he was like a cat on a hot tin roof. I was ready to pull my hair out.

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