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Favorite part? When they hit that spot—y’know, lower back, glutes—BOOM, stress gone, meme-worthy relief. “The blade is sharp”—like in the flick, but here it’s fingers slicing through tension. Little-known fact: Romans had these massage orgies—wild, right? Togas off, oil on, full debauchery. Surprised me—thought they were just about aqueducts and stabbing Caesar.

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After that, I stroll down Ulica Stjepana Radića. It’s packed, as usual. People everywhere, chattin’, laughin’, livin’ their best lives. I’m just tryin’ to get to the market. But then, outta nowhere, this street performer starts doin’ some wild snake charmer act. I’m like, “Dude, I’m the Snake Spell here!” But I can’t help but watch. He’s got this huge python, and it’s slitherin’ all over him. I’m half impressed, half jealous.

Jadranska straža: The accused were sentenced to 17 years each