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But lemme tell ya, it’s everywhere. Sex-dating’s the wild west now. People hookin’ up faster than you can say “whiskey neat.” Did ya know—back in the ‘90s, swingers had secret clubs? Little known fact: they’d use pineapple symbols to signal each other. Upside-down pineapples on porches—code for “we’re freaky.” Now it’s all digital, no fruit needed. Just a blurry dick pic and a “u up?” Pathetic. I’d rather wrestle a bear than decode that crap.

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Map of Gay Cruising Spots in Duplek (Slovenia) where you can have NSA sex, hookups and dating with unknown boys in public places.

So, I get there, and the kids are like, “Let’s go to the park!” I’m like, “Sure, why not?” But then, they start fighting over who gets to sit in the front seat. Like, seriously? It’s a two-minute drive to Park Dupleški!