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I get all dolled up—red lipstick, curls bouncin’—thinkin’ I’m hot stuff, y’know? Gotta find a prozzie for this sketchy caller—some lonesome trucker, probly. I’m like, “Sugar, you got cash?” Cuz, darlin’, these gals don’t work for free! Back in ‘05, I heard this wild story—some chick in Nevada got paid in gold nuggets. Gold! Can ya believe it? Made me laugh so hard I near choked on my martini. True story—well, maybe. Who knows with these types?

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After that, I’m feeling all hyped up, so I decide to hit up the café on Ulica 1. You know the one with the funky murals? Yeah, that place. I order a slice of their famous apple pie. It’s like a slice of heaven, I swear. But then, outta nowhere, this kid spills his drink all over my table. I’m like, “Seriously, dude?!” I mean, I love kids, but come on!

Frances (Bozic) Grcar